The indisputable truth for so many people is it is a lot easier to find out what’s wrong with our lives and in our planet than it is to consciously see the good things. This naturally does not imply that individuals who encounter hard times are in a continuous state of unhappiness, but it does come in waves.
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For some the waves can be HUGE and the repeated waves of stress can have catastrophic long-term consequences which in turn have a direct effect on people around us. Our children’s happiness is directly linked to our joy, which was recently confirmed to me again after reading the comments on a YouTube video about joy that was directed toward an adult audience.
First, it is clear that this was a young man leaving this comment. Second, this child was clearly looking YouTube to find ways on his own to become happier. And thirdly, through his remark he had been reaching out to allow the world know he can’t be pleased if his parents are miserable. He’s not the only one and by no means the first! Millions of us older people grew up in extremely unhappy homes, and if you did you can identify with the child who wrote the comment I said previously.
Although we didn’t have YouTube or social websites to place our ideas out there, all of us know how miserable we were when our own parents would fight and be miserable, particularly when their unhappiness was directed at us. A direct outcome of chronic unhappiness in the home was that a few people had a very challenging time in college, got in with the”wrong crowd” because our friends meant everything, or we ran off or turned into drugs and alcohol at a young age to numb the pain.
Then WHAM-O! We’re grown-up and have children of our own! Life gets real and we manage it the best we know how but our”know how” might not have come from the most reliable of sources, OUR PARENTS! And in some instances our miserable, mean fighting parents! But wait! Don’t think I’m blaming here, since our parents did the best they could with the tools they had! Focusing our idea attention in that way makes us change isn’t possible in victim mode!
Myself, so many parents I work with start to recognize a subconscious pattern. We start to see how our definition of a mom or dad relies highly on the subconscious beliefs we generated as children by putting meanings on what our parents did or the words they said. As kids we ultimately think that although it strikes on numerous levels, these people I call mommy and daddy are doing what parents do, so it has to be the ideal way.
And though a lot of us knowingly declare that this is NOT how I’d decide to parent my own children, in the heat and pressures of parenting we find our subconscious definition of”parenting” takes over and we see our parents in ourselves. How You Define Your Mom/Dad? Note: If you’re a dad focus on your dad, if you’re a mommy focus on your own mother. If you believe your child’s answers are in any way like your responses about your parents, now you can see how your subconscious beliefs about the way to be a mom or dad are playing out in the parent you’ve become.
Whether this is the parent you consciously want to be there might be a pattern to observe that’s keeping you back from living to your true desire. Do your subconscious beliefs agree with who you consciously want to be as a parent? If so, wonderful! Keep on keeping on! But if your answer is no! Fear not, I have great news! Not only can you decide to reprogram and replace subconscious beliefs that don’t match your conscious desires, but the benefits of doing this result in a happier and more fulfilling lifestyle for you and your children, and their children daily!
Step one is noticing there’s a pattern, as a pattern can’t be stopped unless we know that it exists and if you see it you can change it! See and Feel a Change Right Away! One of the many terrific benefits from our efforts in being happier parents becomes rapidly apparent and can be seen almost immediately in our kids! When I started to consciously put into practice different powerful approaches to become more joyful among the very pleasant and immediately beneficial was beginning my day at a very particular and intentional manner, and I immediately noticed a change not only in myself but in my children too! If we permit, the strain of getting two young teenage boys for school every morning, especially as a single parent, can be overwhelming, however if we don’t enable the stress to take hold in the first place, everything changes!
Important to understand is that stressful mornings before school have a devastating effect on our children in that psychological stress restricts their capacity to learn. Under emotional stress, cortisol (the stress hormone) is released into the blood which shuts off blood flow to the area of the brain responsible for memory and retention. Additionally the immune system becomes dysfunctional under pressure which enriches their ability to remain healthy. And inversely, psychological well-being and just feeling good has the complete opposite effect! When our kids head off to college feeling happy, loved and optimistic in their day they’re ready to learn! They subsequently become proud of their achievements, their self-esteem increases and the happiness continues to become ingrained and habitual.