The problem with psychotherapy, as it’s usually done now, is that both the therapist and the individual do not grasp the fact that the majority of what happens in the counselling office is that the patient is attempting to”fix” their own history. The individual remains upset and hurt about being shortchanged by earlier abandonment or abuse, and wishes to be reimbursed.
Wants recognition for the pain. Wants the therapist to put blame on the abuser, or the dreadful conditions, and take any blame away from the individual for neglecting their own life. No sort of psychological compensation is possible. Even if the abuser relents and apologizes, the debt still remains if the individual is preventing his pain by analyzing blame. That’s the way the person being avoids dealing with their anxiety and pain, which is very painful.
To distract themselves from the pain, the patient appears to place blame and focus on the bad behaviour of the abuser or the undesirable circumstances he’s had to endure. Which is why therapy takes a lot of years. The individual is still using the practice of attribute to avoid seeing their fear and being able to tackle their fear so that they could make more positive behavior choices. So the “other causes” and “life history” begin to appear more important and effective than”the individual” and his attempt at creating something out of the day.
Both the therapist and the individual believe the individual is attempting to repair the patient’s everyday life. But if that were true, they wouldn’t need to cover the patient’s past history. The scientific truth is that old poor behaviour patterns don’t have any ability to restrict the use of good behaviour patterns. This includes former crazy behaviour also, which isn’t often thought of as a decision. But a person must realize this truth. Once they do, then they could simply put all their energy into practicing new thinking and behaviour patterns, until the new patterns become dominant within the aged poor thinking and behaviour patterns.
The old thinking and behaviour patterns will still exist in the memory banks but as new ones take precedence, the old ones cease to be utilised as often. This is a result of the brain’s plasticity. The mind creates new neural patterns because of new behaviour and new thinking. These new neural patterns may be used instead of the previous ones. It’s the individual’s choice which patterns to use. But this seems too easy. Most people today prefer the “treatment” for fixing their life to be complex so that there’s more explanation for lack of success.
Why would we need lack of success? It’s human nature to settle for the old ways, the known, even if it’s miserable, than to risk the new. The new positive behavior options generally involve dealing with your anxiety. Repressed fears are incredibly painful.
The more you are prepared to risk addressing your anxiety, the less need you have for explanations, and the more you’ll use your power to take the easy street to instituting new and improved behaviour and thinking patterns, and for that reason making yourself a better mind to assure yourself a better life. The funny thing is that you can write yourself any sort of life-story history, and substitute it to your actual background, and take it to a therapist, and the change would have no impact on your treatment. The only difference is that your history EXPLAINS your own fear. But you don’t need your anxiety clarified. You simply need to tackle your fear so that it can complete, and you can move on to make something of your own day.