After the boxes are unpacked, the telephone is installed, and you have sorted out all the other essentials, you can end up depressed following a move to a different location. The hardest aspect of this is that often times, you do not even realize you are depressed. You’re so focused on all you’ve got to get done, that if first whirlwind passes, you might wind up sitting down to relax, only to discover that many months have gone by and you are in a rut.
If you are the trailing spouse, and have no job lined up, this is something that you especially have to watch for. What can wind up happening is that you mourn the life you left behind – the terrific friends and family you’ve got, possibly a job you loved. Among the hazards of not preparing for potential depression is that, when you first arrive somewhere new, it is like being on holiday. In actuality, if you are moving somewhere that excites you, you might be so caught up in this enthusiasm, you will convince yourself of just how perfect everything there’ll be.
You’ll look forward to a change of pace. When you arrive, it is like starting a new relationship – what’s fresh, distinct, and gives the chance for discovery. Once your head wraps around the fact that you’re going to be staying there for a little while, but the romance will wear off, and leave you amazed, and feeling a bit trapped. You end up sleeping a lot – if you normally sleep 6 – 8 hours and discover that you are suddenly sleeping 12 or more hours, especially during the daytime, this is a principal indicator of depression.
When you are awake, you’re feeling tired, and lethargic. You see that even after a full night’s sleep, you just can not get yourself going. You do not feel like leaving the house. You spend the majority of your time at home, in front of the TV. You reject suggestions from nearest and dearest. You don’t have any interest in doing anything. You don’t have any desire to socialize or meet new individuals.
The only happy moments you have are if you plan a trip to return home, or speak with your buddies back home. If you truly can’t get yourself out of the rut, you need to make a commitment to find a therapist to find a few strategies to control the depression so that you can start to come out of it. The fantastic thing is that there are numerous methods you can use to prevent the depression from beginning, or to get yourself out of a rut if you are already there, provided you are ready to proceed and allow yourself to be happy.
The best thing you can do is adopt some strategies, before you leave, to attempt to protect against depression from setting in at all. Make contacts before you depart. You can do this by asking your existing friends and family to refer you to contacts that they have, and put the word out that you would love some names and numbers of friends they have living in the host city you are relocating to. Reach out to your own newfound contacts instantly. Rather than waiting until after you arrive, make that telephone call, or send that email NOW. Let them know who referred them, and you’ll be moving their way shortly, and you would really like to make plans to meet them once you arrive. Research what activities can be found in your host city.
What to do?
Learn about all of the places offering adult continuing education courses. Ask your new contacts what actions or groups they’re aware of this might interest you. Consider volunteering. Learn what volunteer opportunities exist. This is not just a terrific way to meet new friends, but if you are also helping others, it might be a source of tremendous satisfaction for you. Join a community. Do a Google search. If you are moving to San Francisco, research “Expats in San Francisco” and see what you find. If you join a group on social media, you may also join forums which may be of help. It’s ideal to start all these ideas until you leave, because then, when you arrive, you will have a network already begun, so you don’t have to feel like you are at the start of this procedure. If you’ve already moved, however, then now is as good a time as any to get started.