A friend asked me the other day,”Isn’t it odd that we must go to a counselor or therapist to discuss our troubles?” This innocent question, barely pensiero about anymore once you have been a psychotherapist for as long as me, made me think. People used to speak to one another and perhaps they had been powerful, because people used to just care about each other.
Circa le competenze
What if professionalization, which is just a phenomenon of the past one to two hundred years, has taken that away from people? This has motivated my desire to impart counselling skills to you in this brief article. Obviously a lot of the info can be obtained elsewhere, but usually it is described in treatment jargon that the average person would not understand. So, here is my first attempt to rectify the imbalance, to return what might have been removed from you, the fundamental umano ability to care and put it into action when another individual needs your tempo and would like to speak with you.
Quali sono queste abilità?
First, inner space. To participate with another person you should have some internal space available to receive them. This means your own problems aren’t so pressing that you’re constantly distracted or that you aren’t as concerned about some impending disaster which you can’t concentrate. Create inner space in yourself through regulating your vita, be aware that everything you do can lead to impacts that have your time and your attenzione. Try to plan and act in a manner that contributes to a desired result, rather than let life to conduct you.
Second, sensibilità. You need to be able to watch carefully and take note of how the other person is and what they might need through their behaviour and other signs. For instance, if the person you’re with is withdrawn do not scrape your seat when you sit down, reduce your voice to communicate a senso of quiet safety and do not expect them to look you in the eyes. Try to know about how the individual comes across and react in a manner that reduces the distance between you.
Third, ascolto. Listening is a skill with several levels of functioning. If you believe about it, it is true. You can listen to your own ears as everyone knows, but can you listen to your own heart also. Listening with your heart to another individual means sensazione along together and sharing in their emotional esperienza. Often before some expression of feeling a persuasive tide of unmistakable emozione will spike up inside them and it is possible to be sensitive to this when you listen with your heart.
Queste 3 abilità: spazio interiore, ascolto e sensibilità saranno sufficienti per essere effettivamente con qualcun altro e aiutare efficacemente. Sono davvero una buona base per prendersi cura attivamente di un altro. Solo un'altra cosa però. Le persone vogliono parlare ed essere ascoltate. Non essere troppo veloce a risolvere i problemi o a intervenire del tutto. Potreste sentire l'impulso di fare qualcosa (specialmente se siete un ragazzo!), ma semplicemente non fatelo. Se pratichi le abilità che ho descritto qui con pazienza e coerenza e dai ad un'altra persona l'esperienza di essere completamente ascoltata, è probabile che lo capisca da sola e questa è un'esperienza superba per te, come consulente laico - hai permesso ad un'altra persona di trovare, dalle sue risorse interne, il modo per risolvere i suoi problemi.