We’re responsible for everything in our lives.” “OK, Wayne,” I said,”I concur. Now what? How do I take responsibility for the chemistry in my body when my immune system is damaged? My immune system comprises compounds,” I reminded myself. “I am accountable for all those substances doing their job. What am I doing or not doing that is in charge of the compounds do their job? Chemicals.
I am accountable for my chemicals. How do I take responsibility for all those chemicals? Chemicals? What mechanism activates the release of my chemicals? Ye gads! The brain. The brain sends messages to all systems within the body. I asked myself. “Allergies, allergies, allergy attack, allergy attack–am I getting somewhere? I’m being attacked by pollen–so? What’s the connection between allergy attacks and being an abused child? Allergy attack–allergy attack.” Days and weeks passed. When the body is attacked by something, the immune system immediately sends substances to resist the invasion. I lamented. “What can I do today? I’m responsible for the chemicals in my body,” I reminded myself.
I began considering the incidents of physical abuse. I saw my dad’s menacing figure coming at mehis face red, hand raised, swearing and crying. Whack, his big hand struck the side of my mind. ATTACK! My dad attached me verbally and physically. There’s the link! Allergy attack’s verbal/physical attack–both had emerged in my mind as the same. To understand the physiological and psychological construct, one wants to accept the fact that the physical body and mind are intertwined. One isn’t different from the other.
To understand the development of allergy attacks with physical or verbal attacks in my mind, we will need to discern my expertise as a baby in the bassinet. The five senses: hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch are a baby’s only way of understanding their world and communication. Three of the five senses are activated by the method such as my dad to quiet a howling baby: The baby hears the dad’s footsteps and, in the first case, assumes that someone is coming to comfort her. The shock of this loud voice (hearing) and difficult pat (touch) is responded to by a restriction in yelling (breathing)–breathing and odor are synonymous.
The shock of the loud voice and bodily effect has knocked the breath out of the baby. When the baby’s adrenal system reactivates breathing, the baby breathes in the smell of cows grain and hair odor, which permeates the dad’s clothes. In several cases, the mother responds to the crying baby nonetheless, the infant can’t differentiate when the mother or father will react. Therefore, the baby soon admits the footsteps of their father, but has no way to escape. Her fight and flight mechanics is triggered, and compounds surge through her body requiring extra oxygen because her heart rate and breathing increase.
As she tries to bring in oxygen, she concurrently constricts her crying; both conflict with one another. This causes swelling in the bronchial system, and that’s how asthma is triggered –limited bronchial passage. Not withstanding, humans have evolved with immunities to the components which are common to the surroundings.
With rare exceptions, the human immune system, as a functioning system, is sufficient to protect the organism. In an experience like mine, the baby’s mind has been imprinted through three of the five senses. This leaves a powerful effects. As in my case, cattle grain and hair aromas are associated with fear and being unable to breathe. Thus, my asthma/allergies became a physical response to fear, distress and the feeling associated with any strong smells. I recall experiencing asthma attacks when I had been expecting a stressful situation between my father or when he verbally assaulted me.
Through listening to my previous feelings and watching my responses, I recognized the reality that my immune system was damaged. The doctors also told me that my immune system was unsuccessful, but they blamed it on a simple fact of genetics fluke, something I needed to accept. I dutifully accepted my destiny; after all, physicians know the human body and are healers-they understand best.
The next step, I began celebrating my bodily reactions whenever I started having allergic reactions. I observed and observed. One day I discovered a very subtle body feeling, so subtle that I barely noticed its existence. The body feeling was so faint and so far away. I hardly captured it. My heartbeat seemed so still. It was very faint. I took my heartbeat and had difficulty finding it. I continued to hear to and observe my body’s response to smells. Ye gads! The idea came into my thoughts.
My fight-flight command wasn’t being activated. Instead, I had been telling my fight-flight method to close down. WHAT? The fight-flight mechanism is essential to the survival of this machine. I had been telling mine to close down. My thoughts then wandered back into the episode when my dad attempted to pursue me with the horse. I realized that was the time I closed my fight-flight down system more than it was closed down. My heart stood still as the horse jolted to a stop in front of me, his hot breath blowing in my head.
From there on, I remember not feeling the pain when my dad hit me. I had been completely shut down. As the days passed, I continued to listen to and observe my breathing. As I discovered, I became conscious that I became lively when a sneeze was an allergic sneeze. The idea was,”There is not anything you can do, the pollen strikes and you’re in lots of pain and feel ill and can barely function, but it only lasts a brief time. Withstand the pain–keep going–it will pass.” As a kid, I couldn’t fight or flee. Emotionally, to endure the physical and verbal attacks, I became lively by telling myself,”The best strategy is to do nothing.” This thought process subconsciously blocked the transference of survival compounds to protect my system from risk. When the compounds were sent, I could feel the bone-chilling pain before and after the attack. I did not enjoy this pain and, therefore, instructed myself to close down.
I had trained my mind to stop sending the basic fight-flight substances used to protect the system. Of course the doctor gave me adrenaline shots when my natural compounds didn’t work. Adrenaline is the significant compound the immune system sends to fight or flee. The next step was to track the messages I gave myself when I sneezed. The routine was consistent-I became very passive, so I could feel my senses shut down.
My muscles relaxed, no outward emotion. Nothing! I listened, listened and observed. After several years of telling my brain to shut down, learning how to fight back wasn’t straightforward. It was so natural to close down. Nevertheless, I listened and every time I felt myself shut down, I gave a command to fight back. I visualized the chemicals rushing into the blood stream and throughout my body. I practiced and practiced. Gradually, I noticed a difference in the severity and the length of allergy attacks.
Spring 1990 came (a usually tough season, as I had been allergic to tree and grass pollens): no sneezing, no watery eyes, no coughing. Eureka! I did it. I did it! This was and remains a physical and mental success with extensive implications. I wanted to shout from the rooftops. I wanted to tell everybody –Metaphysical healing functions! With every passing pollen season, I have been progressively allergy-free. For three decades, it was necessary that I consciously chose to’remind’ myself to fight back. I don’t have to have total concentration . Moreover, when I have allergic reactions to made components, I don’t hold myself responsible for generating the immune system to fight back.
This is a result of how the immune system protects the machine from natural components; when I held myself accountable for removing all allergic reactions, I could set up unrealistic requirements and constitute an unrealistic psychological failure also. A note of warning for anyone who might believe I have described this process as simple and easy: it had been very hard and required attention, commitment and dedication. During the beginning period of recovery, any distractions caused reduction in concentration in addition to reduction in effectiveness.
This was discouraging at times and I heard myself saying,”See you can’t really change this harm, you’re not like you think you are.” This was an illustration of all of the negating and demoralizing things my dad said to me. It happened to me, I was letting other people’s words to control what I could or couldn’t accomplish now, and I became even more determined.