I’ve been emailing one of my medical care practitioners lately. It’s something which is growing more common – a way to receive timely advice on topics not requiring an office visit. As I was doing so I realized that my practitioner was relying on me to relate what was happening to me precisely because she wasn’t seeing what I saw. I then thought about the fact that even when she saw me in person she was relying on my reporting matters that aren’t visible.
How truly curious are some of us ? Do I examine myself using an open, loving mind and soul, willing to comprehend and understand whatever I might find, or do I look at myself with a whole lot of preconceived notions of how I should or shouldn’t be and closed my eyes to what I do not need to know? Most of the time I guess I assume a variety of things about myself. I’m in my 60s now. I surprise myself when I look in the mirror because I have been experiencing myself as younger.
When I am surprised do I turn off and recapture the dream or do I take in the picture that’s facing me, welcoming and understanding how my energy expresses itself in this age? Do I know what my body looks and feels like today? If I don’t understand, how can I correctly report things to my medical care practitioner? Practicing fascination about myself when I’m well helps me keep that practice when I’m sick or hurt. I can start now by simply looking at myself and being welcoming and curious what I find – maybe taking a few moments in the evenings as I get dressed only to notice what is there.
If I give up the conclusions that come up – I must be this – I must be that – and only notice, I will learn a lot. The more I practice this, the deeper and more subtle my understanding becomes. Having the habit of being ready to understand myself makes it much easier to look when I’m in distress.
Our standard reaction to illness or injury is fear. Looking at the facts of our problems in these circumstances takes courage. I may not need to know how much difficulty I am in, but not understanding doesn’t help injuries heal. When I’m sick or injured, so as to learn what to do next I want to be eager to learn everything I could know about what’s happened to me and what I can do to help myself cope with this. If I already have a good idea of how I was before the illness or injury and a practice of fascination about myself, I have a wonderful basis to comprehend the size of what is different because of the illness or injury and to articulate it.
As I take the opportunity to learn about my condition I’m better able to comprehend the feelings and sensations which are occurring in me and clarify them. To say something hurts isn’t a lot info. Perhaps the pain is burning. Perhaps it’s localized to one small place. Perhaps the pain is a dull ache. The more I simply inquire into the pain the more info I have about it. If I’m interested in my body and my trauma, once the doctor tells me something, I will analyze what I have heard and see whether that interpretation fits what I’m experiencing.
Maybe there’s something else the doctor has to know. I have a buddy who has trouble with address because of an injury she received. When she talks with a doctor, that doctor may misinterpret what’s going on with her because he or she doesn’t hear sufficient details. Being curious has a similar impact to my buddy’s difficulty with talking. Even if I don’t have any difficulty using words, I am unable to explain what I’ve not chosen to understand. Together, in partnership, with me correctly describing what I experience, my physician and I will work together to give me the best opportunity to flourish and be well.