A friend asked me the other day,”Isn’t it odd that we must go to a counselor or therapist to discuss our troubles?” This innocent question, barely pensamiento about anymore once you have been a psychotherapist for as long as me, made me think. People used to speak to one another and perhaps they had been powerful, because people used to just care about each other.
Sobre las competencias
What if professionalization, which is just a phenomenon of the past one to two hundred years, has taken that away from people? This has motivated my desire to impart counselling skills to you in this brief article. Obviously a lot of the info can be obtained elsewhere, but usually it is described in treatment jargon that the average person would not understand. So, here is my first attempt to rectify the imbalance, to return what might have been removed from you, the fundamental humano ability to care and put it into action when another individual needs your tiempo and would like to speak with you.
¿Cuáles son estas habilidades?
First, inner space. To participate with another person you should have some internal space available to receive them. This means your own problems aren’t so pressing that you’re constantly distracted or that you aren’t as concerned about some impending disaster which you can’t concentrate. Create inner space in yourself through regulating your vida, be aware that everything you do can lead to impacts that have your time and your atención. Try to plan and act in a manner that contributes to a desired result, rather than let life to conduct you.
Second, sensibilidad. You need to be able to watch carefully and take note of how the other person is and what they might need through their behaviour and other signs. For instance, if the person you’re with is withdrawn do not scrape your seat when you sit down, reduce your voice to communicate a sentido of quiet safety and do not expect them to look you in the eyes. Try to know about how the individual comes across and react in a manner that reduces the distance between you.
Third, escuchando. Listening is a habilidad with several levels of functioning. If you believe about it, it is true. You can listen to your own ears as everyone knows, but can you listen to your own heart also. Listening with your heart to another individual means sensación along together and sharing in their emotional experiencia. Often before some expression of feeling a persuasive tide of unmistakable emoción will spike up inside them and it is possible to be sensitive to this when you listen with your heart.
Estas 3 habilidades: espacio interior, escucha y sensibilidad serán suficientes para que puedas estar realmente con otra persona y ayudarla eficazmente. Son una muy buena base para cuidar activamente a otro. Sin embargo, sólo una cosa más. La gente quiere hablar y ser escuchada. No te apresures a resolver el problema ni a intervenir en absoluto. Puede que sientas el impulso de hacer algo al respecto (sobre todo si eres un hombre), pero simplemente no lo hagas. Si practicas las habilidades que he descrito aquí con paciencia y constancia y le das a otra persona la experiencia de ser completamente escuchada, es probable que lo descubra por sí misma y eso es una experiencia magnífica para ti, como consejero laico: dejas que otra persona encuentre, a partir de sus recursos internos, la manera de resolver sus problemas.