Have you ever wondered why some folks seem content and happy in their own skin? By comparison, do you know those that are unhappy and pessimistic? What is your predominant outlook towards life? Do you like yourself? Feel worthy? Struggle with confidence? These are questions we rarely contemplate until life overwhelms us.
Yet, if we do not make time for self-enquiry, we’ll be overcome with emotional despair when we are least expecting it. I want to research self-acceptance and self-compassion, two major factors for optimum living. From the time we’re children, we face some kind of emotional abandonment, leaving us with a less-than-positive mental script. We could be hard on ourselves and that unkindness permeates into different regions of our life, resulting in a destructive path. Emotional abandonment method to run away from fulfilling your psychological needs such as self-improvement and self-acceptance.
Even young children will entertain thoughts as, “I don’t like myself” and”I’m not worthy” and take these ideas throughout their lives. What does a young child know about forming these judgements when they are barely old enough to conclude with the world? Perhaps your emotional needs weren’t met as a kid and you developed low self-esteem? This is a frequent scenario, where kids believe they’re unworthy well before creating a self-identity.
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They mature into adults just to bottle up their pain or cover it up with: dependence, unhealthy relationships, hollow success, or material possessions. This poses a threat to a person’s psychological health, because living like this makes for a miserable existence and contributes to: depression, severe anxiety, mental health disorders and enormous pain. Countless people with low self-worth have confronted their internal struggles and learned to love themselves.
They were vulnerable and confronted their insecurities and disappointments to learn self-compassion and approval. In actuality, a component of an adult’s travel often leads them to confront the darkness to walk in the light. Sometimes personal growth necessitates walking through pain to find a fertile oasis beforehand. Everyone encounters some type of pain on their life’s journey. It starts in childhood and continues throughout life and none are resistant to it. How you react to your internal wounds will determine your attitude and activities throughout life.
To illustrate this point, consider the Buddhist narrative of a man shot in the chest by an arrow. While the pain was immense, the Buddha pointed out just how much greater the pain could have been if he had been shot by another arrow in precisely the identical spot. This lesson illustrates that despite extreme pain or distress, once we add another arrow of judgment about our expertise, we intensify the pain. Inner wounds may result in self-persecution. We think, “I need to deserve this” or “I’ll never be good enough” and this keeps us trapped in unworthiness.
We could be hard on ourselves at times, not realising it is possible to honor who we are, despite our pain. To learn self-love and self-compassion starts with appreciating our value. You can enjoy yourself and treat yourself with compassion. While it’s wonderful to treat others with empathy, do you treat yourself the exact same way? Do you enjoy yourself? Cut yourself idle from time to time? Are you conscious of the inner critic which informs you differently?
It doesn’t mean feeling sorry for yourself and it isn’t self-pity. It means creating a nurturing relationship with yourself . Similarly, self-compassion isn’t a sign of weakness. It implies being your own guardian, best friend and healer rather than critic. It’s believed that self-compassion and self-acceptance are crucial ingredients to living a satisfying life, more so than high self-esteem. The origins of self-compassion stem from our earliest recollection of our health care atmosphere. So, it makes sense we know to associate with these nurturing qualities to supply the loving kindness we deserve.
Self-compassion and self-acceptance method to get rid of expectations of oneself. It begins with the smallest gesture of enjoying yourself when you are angry, scared, tired or confused. We cultivate a supportive inner dialogue rather than allowing the internal critic to take hold. We learn to embrace our value. It starts by gazing into the mirror and announcing you’re worthy of love. Notice the feelings and feelings that arise as you create the statement. Some of us are attracted to tears while others delight in the self-affirming conversation. Become your own best friend and soul mate. Scouring the world for your soul mate starts at home standing in front of a mirror, confirming your complete acceptance of self: your flaws and your resources. Nobody is perfect and you are no exception. Embrace and love yourself without reservation. Life will make sense since you’ll be in tune with your real self, that is Love in the heart of your being.